Spirit of the Holidays

Part of my relationship with my mother requires that I hear a large amount of information that I hardly care about. I receive all sorts of news – good and bad – about people that I do not know, cannot remember, or never will meet. Maybe this is part of every son’s relationship with his mother.

So, a few months ago, when my mom began our conversation with “D, I just heard the worst story,” I immediately settled into my feign-interest mode. My mom then went on to tell me about an employee of the florist she works with as part of her event planning business who had been having terrible headaches and had repeatedly been put off by doctors claiming they were too busy to see him or perform the necessary tests. She told me that had any one of us – the relatively privileged and well-connected – had a similar malady, we would have had no trouble getting an appointment and diagnosis from the doctor, but because this person was poor and black and had no health insurance, he kept running into obstacles that were potentially threatening his life.

The man has since been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. He can no longer work. He certainly cannot afford his medical care. His family who depended on him is now taking care of him, making sacrifices in every way imaginable.

I have rarely seen my mom so passionate and compassionate about something. She was obviously upset that this man was suffering and angry that he was not being properly taken care of. And I know what happens when my mom gets angry.

Over the next couple of months, my mom did something amazing. Heroic even.

Rather than simply allowing this man to continue unaided, she, along with the two florists the man had worked for, took it upon herself to make a difference in his life. She acted on her compassion. She decided that she would not wait for someone to help this man – why wait, she concluded, when she could help him herself?

This holiday season, my mom, along with the two florists, has led a campaign to gather money for this man and his family – to be used for Christmas presents or food or health care. Their effort raised over $1,500, an amount that was matched by Target. Thanks to these efforts - efforts that were not required and that were undertaken without knowing how they would turn out - this man and his family will have the opportunity for a relatively pleasant Christmas during this most difficult of times for them.

She reported that the man was in tears as he thanked her. “I didn’t know there were people who would just give like this,” he sobbed. There were tears in my mom’s eyes as she relayed the story to me.

What my mom did is inspiring. It means far more than any of the gifts she and my dad got for me or my wife or my daughter. It captures the spirit of charity that should be at the heart of this season, during which we have the opportunity to reach out and help those not as fortunate as ourselves. And perhaps most inspiring, it shows what happens when people act. It is so easy to simply criticize and ponder the ills of the world. It is far more difficult to act. But it is only when people act out of compassion for others or passion for making a difference that things change.

Thank you, Mom, for living this lesson this holiday season.